(From my Journal – November 25th, 2013)
“I am encouraged! He, my God, is faithful and true! He provides and He guides.”
This was the day that my dad had pulled me aside to talk about my role with Something Gourmet (my brother’s bakery). He shared with me some observations he had been making about the company, and where it was heading. In his wisdom, he knew that even though I was enjoying my role as a baker and recipe-created (honestly I *love* to bake!), I was not fulfilled. I was not entirely passionate about what I was doing each day. I was struggling to line my vision and my goals up with David’s (as he was the official owner of ‘our’ bakery).
My dad saw and understood that I wanted to be interacting with people face-to-face. I wanted to be serving people that had difficulties and painful challenges in their lives. I wanted to learn and become equipped to share lasting answers with people who had tried so many different ways, and had no where else to turn… I wanted to make things and write things and share things with people – people that could I talk to and hear the stories of, and encourage to make better choices in their lives…
And the bakery was a wonderful experience! It was one of the ‘classrooms of life’ as my mom calls it – wherein God taught me *many* wonderful principles that would prepare me for the coming days, months, weeks, years. I learned about submission (as I was challenged to respect my brother’s decisions and realize that we would not always have the same ideas or goals for the bakery…); I learned to put aside me and serve others; I learned to persevere with diligence, sometimes late into the night and again early in the morning; I developed more patience, and saw the importance and value of being joyful, enthusiastic, kind, and loving to everyone that I crossed paths with – whether a customer, potential customer, store owner, or the guys in the back of the restaurant kitchen… I learned more about marketing (honestly and effectively), selling and customer service… the list goes on.
<making the most of a happy project … a first-time learning experience – earlier this year>
But this was just one of the many platforms that God was using, to prepare me for something other – a bigger, greater work that He had prepared for me, that I really did not see the fullness of until it happened (that day).
Quite honestly I needed my dad’s words of wisdom. What he said was so of the Lord – because I had a problem.
I like to do everything.
I want to take on everything that I can possibly squeeze into today, if it feels like the ‘right’ thing to do … I don’t want to turn anyone down. I don’t want to give up a business opportunity. I don’t want to walk away from an interaction with anyone, if they’re feeling hurt and somehow I’ve done something and not taken care of it. I don’t want to put off what I can do today, until tomorrow. Because what if tomorrow brings new opportunities that I have to turn down?? I hate having to say ‘no I can’t do that’. In fact, sometimes I need help saying it.
And my dad wisely saw this. He saw this country muffin girl adding and adding and adding… the business was growing, opportunities were opening up, tasks at work and home were accumulating… and quite honestly, I wasn’t ready to give it up. I would squish it in there somehow. But it was eating me up… and at the expense of others. I was falling down in my relationships with precious people… and missing out on things that mattered more. I was racing time and falling behind.
It was challenging my relationships, my work, my commitment to so many people that I had said ‘yes’ to. It was affecting my health and my spiritual walk. I had too much. But I thought I could figure this out. I could handle this somehow.
“Today Daddy asked me to pray about moving on from the bakery, to devote more of my time and effort to The Country Muffin …”
I was afraid. I held back. I shared with him some of my fears, through tears… I knew that he was so right! It was everything that I wanted, that I needed. This was good for me. I needed to step away from the bakery and go on to put all of me into what I was truly passionate about – and what I knew God was leading me to do.
Because it’s not enough to like something, or even to love something. Even the best things can become boring or unfulfilling over time.
There’s a difference between having a job, and living out a calling.
David’s passion – David’s people group – David’s need-meeting felt more like a job to me. It wasn’t what I *really* felt that I was needed to be doing with multiple hours of each day.
We each have different passions and different talents. There are many different kinds of people around us, facing different kinds of needs. And sometimes finding those people and meeting those needs is a challenging and difficult – even scary – thing to adventure out and do.
I was afraid of the awesome and overwhelming responsibility that it meant. I was afraid of not having someone like David to easily manage all the ‘big’ decisions. I was intimidated at the thought of interacting with strangers (I don’t want to be the ‘sales guy that drives everyone nuts’!)… at the overwhelming reality of what it takes to share a message with a *lot* of people… at the thought of writing and creating and distributing – what if I messed up?
I felt so. completely. small.
At that moment I felt like Abraham, when God called him to leave behind his home and his people – to travel to an unknown and strange place – a place that Abraham did not even know where it was!
It was a God-sized work. Little me – I didn’t feel like setting off on such an adventure…
“What God? Where do I start? What do I do first? How do I start from scratch… with so little!? Who will teach me what I need to know…? How do I find the people that I can share this with?…”
It was an awesome and overwhelming decision. 🙂
Read Part 1 Here